The Airless Meadow
While writing has never been a consideration of mine I'm out of options. Sometimes I don't know if I'm crazy or if this is reality. Waking up every morning feeling pathetic, worthless, and annoying. The thing about depression sometimes you don't know your in it. It's not remembering what your own smile looks like, not being comfortable with compliments, or my biggest issue wondering if I'm nothing more than an challenge god put on this earth to help other succeed and if so that just makes my life meaningless. I've never been the type to question god or my existence and I firmly believe everything happens for a reason but why me? You ever looked in the mirror and the only thing you see is the negatives? Have you ever heard the saying “There's people going through worse”? It makes you wonder “Am I that pathetic that I cant withstand the small things?”. Then again whos to say what issues are big or small. According to society I'm nobody, nothing just an unrecognizable bacterium who causes issues but according to my family I'm just a problem and not just any problem a “victim” and not a real one just the one who pretends. You can cry out all your tears, scream at the top of your lungs and even get violent but it never goes away that pain and hurt raised you and now it'll never leave and in the end depression will leave you claustrophobic in an open field.
Ä.§. Λ.Ƨ.